|You see before you a rather short, greenish creature dressed in an amateurishly sewn Santa suit.
He is not in a good mood. It could be perhaps that his shoes are too tight, or maybe his head isn't screwed on just right. But perhaps the most likely reason of all is that his heart is two sizes too small.
'Bah!', he says, rolling up his red sleeves and flexing his long grinchy fingers. 'Let us begin.'